Werewolves Don't Mix
by Casium
Summary: This is a small collection of drabbles about Remus Lupin, and a taste at what growing up a werewolf might have been like.
1. The Hardest Part

**A/N: **This was written for Gamma Orionis' Character Playlist Challenge on HPFC. I have the playlist for it linked in my profile. Have a good read!

**Werewolves Don't Mix**

**The Hardest Part**

Remus looked out of the window at the other children playing. He sighed, and sat back down on his bed. He would never be like them. Especially not now, when the full moon was so close. His eyes started to burn as he remembered his last day of primary school.

_"Lyall! What do you think you're doing here?" A stout lady asked, blocking the entrance of a school. "You can't bring that in here!" She pointed at Remus as she said this, her nose wrinkling, as though it had just smelled something foul._

Remus exhaled slowly, trying to prevent the sobs that were building up. That was when he realized that he wasn't a normal child anymore. Werewolves don't mix with the rest of society. Werewolves are filthy, violent, evil creatures. Remus couldn't go to his school anymore, and he certainly couldn't go to Hogwarts.

And that brought Remus to today. It was his birthday, his eleventh birthday. But he knew no owl would be delivering a letter to him. He was too dangerous to go to Hogwarts, to be around other children.

When his parents came in to his room, cake in hand and grins plastered to their faces, Remus couldn't return the smile.

"Remus, today's the big day!" His mother said, looking at her son with pride. Remus felt ashamed of himself under her gaze.

"The day I don't get my letter?" His parents both gave him quizzical looks. He snorted, unsure why they still had hope. "I'm vermin. I'm not going to be let in to Hogwarts." His mother set the cake down on his dresser, and joined her son on the bed.

"Remus, honey you aren't vermin. Don't ever say that, or even think that." Remus bit his lip, but shrugged her off. He knew what he was, and what that meant. Werewolves didn't get to go to school, to get jobs and have families.

His parents insisted on throwing him a party, even though no one else would show. They gave him a present, and made him eat a slice of cake. It tasted like dirt in his mouth. The entire day was torture. His parents tried to stay positive throughout the day, but as time wore on they too became less sure of themselves. Of their son.

The letter still hadn't arrived by Remus' bed time, and he wasn't going to stay up waiting. He could hear his mother crying in the other room, but tried to block it out. He grew drowsy, and was on the verge of sleep when a sharp tap made him alert. He sat up, looking around his room. There, at the window was an owl, tapping it's beak on the window for entrance. Remus got out of bed, swallowing thickly. They must have sent a letter to tell him he had been rejected.

He opened the window, taking the letter from the owl, who promptly flew off. He looked down at the thick envelope, and turned it over to see the wax seal. He took a deep breath and opened it, letting the papers fall to the floor. He picked them up, and held his breath as he read.

_To Remus Lupin._

_I am pleased to introduce myself to you. I am Albus Dumbledore, the current Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It has come to my attention that you have a uniqueness that requires thought when it comes to your education._

Remus' heart dropped. He tried not to feel disappointed, it was what he expected after all. He kept reading though, eager to see if the Headmaster knew of a different school.

_I have taken the liberty of setting up a space for you during full moons. Your teachers have been informed that should you decide to attend, you will miss class every full moon. Please respond no later than July 31._

_Regards,_

_Albus Dumbledore._

Remus almost tripped on his way out of his room. He ran straight into his parents room, eyes wide with excitement. His parents looked up, eyes rimmed red.

"Mum! Dad! I got my letter! Look!" He waved the papers to his parents, who looked so relieved that they might start crying again. His father hugged him while his mother read the Headmaster's letter. Remus had started crying, pressing his face into his fathers shirt. "I get to go."

Even while they celebrated, Remus still knew he'd be different. He probably wouldn't make any friends. Werewolves and children don't mix after all, but he was going to Hogwarts. That was already more than he had hoped for.


	2. Iris

**Werewolves Don't Mix**

**Iris**

Remus was having an even better time than he could have ever imagined. In his first year, he already had four friends. He had met them on the train, and they were all sorted into Gryffindor. They were a little much sometimes, but they knew when to be serious.

Everything was going great. Except, his monthly disappearances were getting harder to explain to them. It had started with saying that he had relatives that were ill, or that had died. At first, his friends just thought Remus' family was having a horrible year, but in the second year they started getting suspicious.

"James, it's nothing you need to worry about." His friend raised an eyebrow.

"You say that every month, and every month some relative gets ill, or dies. You never even seem sad about it!" James crossed his arms, and Remus knew his excuse wouldn't hold up anymore. He couldn't tell James the truth though. Not only would he lose his friendship, but he would probably be kicked out of Hogwarts. The whole school would find out, and parents would write letters, complaining about the safety of their children. Werewolves don't mix with regular children, after all.

"Okay, I haven't been completely honest." James tapped his foot.

"Yeah, I figured that out." Remus sighed, and tried to think of a new lie. He didn't want to go back home, or lose James and his other friends.

"I have an illness that needs treatment every month." Remus said. James eyes widened, and he looked Remus over, trying to find anything wrong.

"What is it? Are you okay?" He paused. "And why do you have to skip classes?" Remus swallowed thickly, feeling something like butterflies in his stomach. He had to answer all these questions or James would know he was lying.

"It's nothing serious, I'm fine. Uh, the medicine makes me feel sick for a day, so I have to be away from other students." James nodded.

"Why couldn't you just tell us?" James asked, the concern in his eyes replaced with hurt.

"I didn't want you guys to worry." Remus whispered, feeling ashamed of himself. He would never be able to tell them the truth like they deserved. James seemed content with this new lie though. James smiled, and hooked his arm around Remus'.

"Okay, well we did. Let's go back to the common room." Remus nodded and followed, still feeling like he was going to be sick.


	3. You and I

**Werewolves Don't Mix**

**You and I**

Remus could have never pictured a moment like this. He had four friends, and all of them knew what he was. They had shown total support ever since they found out in their second year at Hogwarts. They were spending their last week of Hogwarts goofing off. Today that meant trying to push each other into the Great Lake. Remus and James were being pushed back towards the water by Peter and Sirius. Remus looked over towards his teammate, and found him grinning like a madman.

"Remus, Turnabout Maneuver 3!" Remus laughed as James barked out the command. He certainly didn't know what Turnabout Maneuver 3 was, or 1 and 2 for that matter. He decided that it involved betrayal. He stuck his foot out behind James, causing him to fall backwards into the lake. While Sirius and Peter where laughing he pulled out his wand.

"Locomotor wibbly!" He shouted, casting the Jelly Legs Curse on the pair. While they struggled to stand he walked behind them and pushed them into the lake. James was already standing up, and pulled Remus headfirst in with the rest of the Marauders.

"You vile traitor!" He shouted, splashing Remus. Remus laughed and put his arms around James' neck, dragging him under the water. Sirius and Peter were engaged in their own wrestling match. Remus and James resurfaced, taking in big gulps of air between laughs. Their fun was quickly interrupted by a sneer.

"Acting like children, as always." Snape was standing a good distance away from the lake with Lily Evans, watching the four boys. Lily nodded, and looked at Remus.

"Remus, come on. You're fifteen now, and you're still hanging around these bullies." Remus bulked at the comment. His group of friends were not always the nicest, especially to Snape. It's not as if Snape were an innocent victim, though. Instead of responding verbally, he withdrew his wand.

"Aguamenti." He whispered, and watched as the two were squirted with a stream of water. James laughed and clapped his back. He found himself laughing too. "Sorry Lils!" He called out, just before Sirius and Peter jumped on him, trying to congratulate him and only succeeding in pushing him under the surface again.

Eventually the four boys pulled themselves out of the water and settled against the trunk of a tree nearby. They could have easily dried their clothes, but Remus found himself enjoying the way his robes hung on him, adding extra weight. James eventually put his head on Remus' shoulder, resulting in a rather nasty squishing sound. Remus put his arm around the other boy.

"You're still a horrible, no good traitor." James murmured. Remus laughed.

"Dog pile!" Sirius shouted, a phrase he had learned from a muggle-born student recently. He jumped on Remus and James, pushing them sideways. They fell over, and Peter quickly joined in on the soggy pile.

"See, you guys still love me. Traitor or not." James laughed, and rubbed Remus' hair, making it stick up at odd angles.

"Yeah, well you get a free pass this time. No more betrayal in the Marauders!" He gave the rest of the members pointed looks.

"Absolutely not!" Remus raised his right hand, and he meant it. He would never betray his friends. They were all he had, and he wasn't sure where he would be without them.

"No way!" Sirius yelled, raising a fist in the air.

"Hell no!" Peter agreed, his hand joining Sirius' in the air.

They spent the rest of the day like that, soaking wet and huddled close.


	4. Trouble

**Werewolves Don't Mix**

**Trouble**

He wanted to throw up, he was so ashamed and scared. Remus listened to James re-telling of last night, not really looking at him. He looked past him, instead. Towards a spot on the wall that didn't have any significant meaning.

He had almost killed Severus Snape last night.

James was trying to reassure him, tell him that it was all Sirius' fault. Sure, Sirius should have never led Snape on or told him how to get past the Womping Willow. At the heart of the problem, however, was Remus. Remus was a beast, a monster with a blood lust that could easily kill any of the students here. It was only once a month, but that was often enough.

"James, I- I should'nt even go here." His voice cracked, and he finally looked at his friend. His best friend, even more so than the rest of the Marauders. The only one who Remus could be this emotional with. The only one that would admit that he didn't understand, not one bit how it felt. Sirius had made a chasm between himself and Remus. Remus was sure they could get over it, but it would take time. "I didn't mean to do any of this!" It didn't change what he was, though. As much as he wished it would.

"Remus, you're one of the most brilliant blokes I know." James whispered, capturing Remus' attention once again. "You're also one of the kindest. You are not a monster. I don't care how many people have told you that, how many have stared at you like you are. You are not. Look, I would trust you with my life. I would trust any of you with my life." Remus couldn't hold back his sobs anymore, and his shoulders started shaking. James didn't say anything else to him that day, and they didn't go to class. They just sat on Remus' bed, and shared the silence.


	5. Say Something (Part One)

**Werewolves Don't Mix**

**Say Something (1)**

Remus couldn't bring himself to believe it. To really see what he was looking at. The house was destroyed, crumbled around him. James was lying next to the stairs, but he wouldn't move. Lily was in Harry's bedroom, and Harry was gone. Hagrid had taken him to relatives. Remus shook James, trying to get him to look around, to move, to breathe.

"James." It came out as whispered sob, before it grew louder. "God damn it James!" He shook him harder, trying to elicit a response. Any response, something that would tell him that this wasn't real. A horrible prank, a sick joke. "Say something!" He shouted, letting his head fall on his friends chest. He sobbed, and his tears stained James shirt. "Please." His voice cracked, and he dragged James into his lap. He rocked gently with the body in his lap. "I should've been here. I'm so sorry." He whispered, pushing his friends hair back. "Please say something. Please." But James never said anything, no matter how hard Remus tried.


	6. Say Something (Part Two)

**Werewolves Don't Mix**

**Say Something (2)**

Remus stared at his friend. At his former friend. The last surviving Marauder, other than himself. The one who had caused the deaths of the other two. That was what he was told, during the trial. He stared at Sirius, who looked at a loss for words. Who seemed unable to even breathe. Remus wished he would say something.

_"I would trust any of you with my life." _That was what James had told him. Remus had been so sure, just like James was. So sure that this friendship was forever, that nothing could come between the four boys. Nothing had ever managed to, then. Not Remus' condition, not Sirius' repeated pranks gone too far, or James bullying. Not Peter, who wasn't always honest. Nothing.

Remus couldn't help but blame himself, irrational as it was. If he had been closer to James, he would have chosen him as the secret keeper. Remus would gladly die before giving away James and Lily. But James couldn't trust him like that, as much as he might have wanted to. He was still a monster.

"I didn't-" Sirius started to say, as he had many times during the trial. Some invisible force, guilt maybe, cut him off each time. Tears were welling up in his eyes, and Remus could feel them coming to his own.

"Just say it." Remus whispered. He would believe Sirius if he could just say it. "Say anything." Remus looked on, and Sirius' eyes met his. Something looked broken in them.

_"No more betrayal in the Marauders!"_

_"No way!"_

Sirius had lied. Whether he knew it or not he had lied to them. To all of them. Remus felt his hands clench, even as Sirius tried to say something to him. He still couldn't, and Remus left. He slammed his fist on the wall outside of the courtroom.

His friendships hadn't lasted, just like he knew they wouldn't. Nothing could ever last for him. For a disgusting, foul, awful half breed. He screamed, and kept screaming until Albus Dumbledore appeared at his side. He had the same broken look, the same desolate eyes that Remus could only imagine he had.

They were silent, Remus shaking heavily with anger and sorrow. It was always going to end like this for him. He was a werewolf, and werewolves don't mix.


End file.
